Sunday, January 31


Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been trying to pull my life together and failing quit miserably. This post may be a little depressive so feel free to skip to the pretty pictures from weheartit.

So firstly, I've decided to stop the "everyday for a year" thing. Maybe another year I shall do it but this year it's just not working. I feel I'm putting off blogging because I haven't drawn or photographed anything and then I miss out on writing my thoughts and what is bothering me on here and end up bottling it all up in a confused mess inside of me.

Secondly, I'm tragically lonely. I have never felt this completely alone in my life. My best friend moved away. My other friends have left or are out of contact with me. People who I thought I could count on this year, who I thought were friends seem less like friends each passing second. I went to Youth Group two nights ago and I spoke to more people than I have ever spoken to before. I am a strangely shy person but I decided that it simply would not do to sit alone and mope so I walked around talking to various people, and in the end...I went home and cried from loneliness.

Thirdly, if it is not too much to ask, can you please pray for me? I have been reading C. S. Lewis and have discovered I am protecting the temporal things in my life, worldly baggage to which I am too attached to willingly let go. And this protecting, this attachment, is causing me to hide from God, dabble in Him here and there, but not dive headfirst into Him. I fear He will ask me to let go of all this stuff, to do something I don't want to.

I think that right now, God wants me to be lonely so I can lean on Him. If that makes sense...

I'm just scared. And procrastinating in hopes that another option will appear.


  1. " He gives and takes away. " is very true. all in all...even when its lonely and hard...He has a plan for the good of those who love him so you have nothing to fear.

    something is bound to give, right? i get lonely sometimes too and uninspired. but keep your chin up baby...everything will be okay.

  2. this post touched me down to the core, so much. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear....we love, because He first loved us." I John 4:18 (earlier the book talks about being purified when we are fixed on Him). C.S. Lewis is SO challenging (i love his work), and it can be heartbreaking to see how far we have to go to "be purified" but God's already purchased you, has already chosen to love you. keep your chin up!

  3. Thank you both. You are very wise and sweet and said just what I needed to hear right now. I am blessed to have found such lovely people in the world.

  4. I LOVE that last photo. Beautiful blog.

  5. everything happens for a reason :) hang in there! you'll be just fine.

  6. hey lovely. i am here for you. i know we've been through a lot together - and it's for a reason! i know i'm not as old as you, probably not as mature as you, and nowhere near as cool as you, but i'm around. which counts for something, right? so, if you need me, call me. text me. email me. i'll always be here, happy for a sleepover, movie night, chat, cry, whatever. i love you.

  7. i love all the photos you put on your blog! and i love your touching words. :)
    im folllowing you.
    follow me!

  8. your blog is absolutely beautiful, and so is your writing. i am so sorry that you are feeling lonely! i will definitely keep you in my prayers, and i will try to check in on you here from time to time! so glad i found your blog!