So firstly, I've decided to stop the "everyday for a year" thing. Maybe another year I shall do it but this year it's just not working. I feel I'm putting off blogging because I haven't drawn or photographed anything and then I miss out on writing my thoughts and what is bothering me on here and end up bottling it all up in a confused mess inside of me.
Secondly, I'm tragically lonely. I have never felt this completely alone in my life. My best friend moved away. My other friends have left or are out of contact with me. People who I thought I could count on this year, who I thought were friends seem less like friends each passing second. I went to Youth Group two nights ago and I spoke to more people than I have ever spoken to before. I am a strangely shy person but I decided that it simply would not do to sit alone and mope so I walked around talking to various people, and in the end...I went home and cried from loneliness.
Thirdly, if it is not too much to ask, can you please pray for me? I have been reading C. S. Lewis and have discovered I am protecting the temporal things in my life, worldly baggage to which I am too attached to willingly let go. And this protecting, this attachment, is causing me to hide from God, dabble in Him here and there, but not dive headfirst into Him. I fear He will ask me to let go of all this stuff, to do something I don't want to.
I think that right now, God wants me to be lonely so I can lean on Him. If that makes sense...